It's a BLUE christmas without YOU



Pic taken from here

It has been a year since you've gone..

Brother how I miss you, each and everyday.
You left us all so suddenly;there were many things I had to say.
Like why you stayed out late that night, when you were supposed to be at home.
I never thought never thought in a million years,you would be gone.

I guess you got your rememberance, whether it is good or bad.
I bet you never thought it would leave me all alone and sad.
Or do you care? Because you're in a better place,
And the tragedy of your loss, I guess I'll have to face.

I remember getting a call, that you had moved on.
I guess it's just hard for me to accept that you are really gone.
I want you to come back because I really need you here.
The thought of living without you is my greatest fear.

Sometimes I walk through the woods late at night.
It's the place you gave up, or maybe lost the fight.
I walk over to the enormous old oak tree,
And look up at your silhouette wishing it were me.

p/s: no internet connection, therefore couldn't post on the exact day...

more dreams to come...

i know i should have blog since years ago but i didn't have the time due to those assignments deadline that come one after another...
my maid dreamt of my bro on his birthday itself... she told my parents (i think)..
my bro was carrying baby Colson and plays with him...
my bro loves his nephews and he loves to play with him...
Everyday once he reached upstairs, he will eventually go to my sis-in-law's room to look for baby Frederick.. sometimes my sis-in-law was even changing.. how sweatz.. lucky he knows how to close the door... lol...

the second dream was the day before we went to his cemetery i think... or on that night itself.. i'm not too sure... again, its from my maid... she woke up to give milk to my small nephew, and then she went to open my bro's room and she saw him sleeping on his bed... that was what she dream that night...

It's his 25th birthday...

Happy birthday to my beloved bro!! 

Recalling last year, I've been a terrible sister...
I totally forgotten to wish my bro on 2nd of August..
In fact I remembered only on 3rd of August...
I've been so guilty about it...
Thinking of him sending me sms in the midnight when I turned 20 makes me even more guilty...
Now that I remember his birthday, he's not here...
Never thought that I will have no chance to wish him a happy birthday...

>And today, I did something silly...
I reached my cell, type a simple message and send to my bro's hp num...
I'm not being silly to think that it'll reach my bro..
But hey i've been doing this every year... 
So I thought I still can do it this year...
His cell num will always be in my phone book...
Always will be...

We'll be going to his cemetery on sat...
Shall be meeting Cassandra...
Guess His place is rather dirty now as we haven't been visiting for a period...

Again, happy birthday to my beloved kor!!!! Love you always!!!! 

You could have been 25 if not...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I dreamt of my bro the night I turned 21. It wasn't a really good dream though.
The content of the dream is I heard that he met with an accident where my parents & I rushed to his house in somewhere else. He was with my eldest bro. He got injured and were resting on the bed when we went to see him.

Somehow every year my bro would type a simple message to wish me. A simple message which is very precious to me. He HARDLY type any message, even when Father's Day come or Mommy's birthday, I'm the one who usually type a msg and then forward to his cell. And he will forward the msg to my parents. For my birthday, maybe he can't ask me to write a msg, thats why he typed himself. I think its very precious to me because this is something he type sincerely, sth that he thinks before he write.

He's a really good bro to me....

Am too busy to blog lately..
So I'm gonna jot down what have I dreamt lately...
And obviously I've forgotten when did this dream occur..

First dream :
Both my brothers & my sis-in-law were going for a vacation and they left me out. How sad! However, before they left, they dropped by my house and Andy gave me one big stacks of money which I don't know if it is RM700 or RM7000. He told me to hide it which I have no idea of it. He was kinda angry and then the dream just go off like that

Second dream :
My bro was in the hospital, injured. He was at the emergency department & we were waiting for him. There were like 10 nurses surrounding him and I saw the whole bed full with blood. Its kind like what we have to go through on that incident day itself. He passed away in the dream. Thats what I remembered so far in the dream.

My maid dreamt about my bro last 2 days if not mistaken. She saw my bro was entering the living room from the usual door and he walked straight to the picture of his which we displayed on top of the speaker. And right now, the picture is no longer there because it was sent to fix.